If If I’m too old be dating, should I start looking into mail order brides?
I’m fast approaching 30. I have had numerous one night stands when out partying, but never have I had a steady girlfriend. I follow people’s advice, but I dont think I’m a type of guy most girls want. I’m not fat or disgusting. I’m just eccentric to put it mildly. And since partying gets me results, I have been partying extra hardy for the past three years. I’ve dated but I cant reach that level of interest to secure second or third dates. I’m almost resign to lead the life of the wild bachelor but I want more. Should I start looking into the Russian mail order bride system. Would a girl from a completely different background find me more interesting?
Redefine your definition of “RESULTS”.
Getting a drunken loose player chick to bang at a party is not an accomplishment as you are SLOWLY realizing. It is equivalent to raping a sleeping woman, or a retarded woman. Were she not drunk she would have nothing to do with it.
Stop ruining your chances by having sex in a day. Wait until marriage. Who is going to trust and respect you and who are you going to trust and respect if they sleep with you without knowing yo or loving you? Read my lips….
N O O N E…..
Without trust and respect where is the love and relationship? There is none. You are killing your own interests by rushing to intercourse as if that was love. Modern Western Hollywood culture has glamorize the male ejaculation to equate love. Where is the love in that? Even hogs, dogs and monkeys do it. When a hog has sex with its mother, daughter, or sister, it is love too? The sex act is potentially a subordinate expression of love, but in most cases as we see here it is just an outbreak (like a rash you have to itch) of LUST,
She used you. You made yourself cheap. You went after cheap. You attracted cheap. So you are left with nothing of value.
Cheap. Cheap. Cheap.
Stop patting yourself on the back and being proud that you are cheap. You are creating a social nuisance not proving anything else to anybody else, even the girls you sleep with.
Start defining RESULTS as… meeting a person you really like and get along with, who you share interests with, who you like being around (and not sexually, only). Someone you respect so much that it doesnt matter if you have sex or not or when even, you just want to see them happy.
Stop partying. Start socializing. Forget the mail order thing. That’s another cheap exploitation thing leveraging economic disparity between nations. You wont respect her, she will feel cheated and exit on your cheap ass after her green card matures and bears fruit.
Then you just swipe the credit card and order another one from the catalog?@! Right? You want love, but you are addicted to lust. You intelligence, mind and senses are bewildered.
Please STOP and break this pattern of thinking and acting, and adopt anew way. You can do it and you will be happy. You might get your heart broken a few times figuring it out, but you deserve that. Think of all the women you used!
Now…
Find an equal partner to you. Socially, economically, etc. Friendships flourish amongst equals. Work on being loving. Selfless. Giving. Supportive. You will attract someone like that. Be that person you want.
No nice loving lady (you want) is going to be attracted to a cheap selfish exploiter like you described.
LOVE
There is no time limit. Love can come in 1 second or it may take 50 years.
But love has a quality. If the quality is there then it is love, Even after 100 years, if the quality is not there then it is not love. It is not a matter of time.
LOVE means that you only have a desire to make your object of love happy without any selfish personal desire. Love is selfless.
That is quite a tall order to fulfill, but when it is there, it is there and you have it!
If you are trying to satisfy yourself in the relationship then you are under the influence of lust, anger, greed, etc. It is not pure love.
PURE LOVE means unmotivated and uninterrupted. 24X7 I think of you.
Pure love is even devoid of sex desire, though you may reciprocate sexually with your object of love to please them. When you have pure exclusive love for someone then you are essentially desireless. You only desire their happiness and their happiness is the source of your happiness–to the point that if they become happy by giving you distress, then you will take your own distress as your greatest happiness…because it makes them happy.
These are very elavated concepts of love and not ordinarily attainable on the material platform.
These are generally realized in our eternal personal relationship with God, who is really the only one worthy of such a high degree of love, and even then it is rarely attained.
Hope this helps!
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